An Open Letter To My Inner Turbulence

I think it is time for me to address this issue on an eye-to-eye level with you, and the only means of doing that is by going public. Good Lady, you've been torturing me in and out for the last few months, leaving me more dizzy and disoriented than I've ever been. As much as it is a sign of weakness on my side, the fact is, I'm still not coming back up.
Of course, there has been a few uppers, but each downer punches me so hard back down the bottom that I sometimes feel like the battle is already lost. What is it with life that made you my only faithful partner ? That made me touch happiness from the tip of my fingers, each time a bit closer, each time a bit stronger, only to take it away in the most brutal way ? Each time leaving me in the deepest of lonelinesses, still half-asleep, half-dreamy, giving me no option but to put my hood up and wait for the storm to end.
I feel tired as ever. I can deal with this usually, I raised myself to be able to, but this time, you're just making it impossible. I can only take so much of you constantly playing with my nerves, giving me hope only to take it back, leaving me depressed as I drown in my glass of polish vodka.

The meeting scheduled to take place in a few days is supposed to help *a lot* making things easier to live. This is the reason why I'm asking you directly, inner turbulence of mine, to not fuck things up for me this time. I'm not a big complainer, as you probably have noticed in the years you've spent messing with my head, and I've never asked for much, so here's my ultimate request. Please make it that this day happens as planned, and please make it that everything goes so well that it all fixes itself from the bottom up. She is all I need to get better.

I won't thank you in advance, for reasons that seem obvious. But I do look forward to thanking you in the next few days.

To the unpleasure of meeting you again, yours truly,
Your faithful victim.

Why scream, when you can lose yourself inside the widescreen, let life be a bowl of melted ice cream, or be the deer that's caught in my high-beams, I'm rolling with the lights on, scared stiff, reality is just too much to bear with, paranoid, walking around, careless, no wonder you're in love with your therapist,

Go to sleep my little timebomb...